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Friday, May 23, 2014

1 : don't you ever forget about me



        Hi! assalamualaikum dear readers.. well before i start my new entry, i would like to share about this novel. i bought it last year and read it this year because my schedule are soooo pack.~

p/s : sorry i didnt use proper english. lol 

       actually my life is a bit macam ni lah. well if you dont mind can i write in rojak? well who cares because this is mine. HA HA HA. im so over the moon tauuu because i didnt get the chance to update my blog and after sooooo long baru boleh. well this novel was about a girl who broke up with her boyfriend. well like other girls did when they broke up... crying over a guy, want the same thing for her ex boyfriend to stay single forever.. hell no of course. tell me does this type of guy exist in this world? and my mind, my brain, my heart, my body says NO! well of course girls who've been hurt will hope that they'd never meet him in the first place! but when i read this at the back of the book. well it was written dekat cover tu macam ni "but what if one of those wishes came true?" and i did said that this is nonsense this is ridiculous this is bullshit. so this girl keep moving forward.. keep move on.. even it's hurt but she tried so hard to live without him. her name is tess.. tess is so heartbroken tau when she failed to forget him. she cant help blaming herself for what happened to their relationship. if only she could make right all her regrets... but she cant. it's over and she has to forget him though. on new year's eve, she wishes she'd never met him and guess what?

       after she woke up the next day, she discovered that her dream came true as when she bumped into her ex boyfriend at starbucks that morning... her ex boyfriend was like "im blurrrr i've been spelled" harharrr well of course at first she felt like she've been fooled like an idiot but realized when his act was weird and annoyed somehow. but still, her love for him never changed. so she decided to take this miracle as an opportunity to get him back. she changed herself, she get to know him back.. she tried to be the girl that the guy want, she tried everything and yes! she started to be 'other' people.. not herself. just for one guy.. this bullshit dick guy.. she changed herself?! wtf wth. lol okay then at the same time, there was a guy who liked her for so long. but she didnt see him cause she's crazayyy about her ex boyfriend. as a guy that i used to love him before... or maybe now too, said that "if we've read that one book and we know the ending... doesnt it seems to be same like the relationship? if we read it for the second time, we dont get surprise cause we knew the ending." yes maybe you people agreed with this statement but not me. i do believe that we can change it if we start all over again if both sides are ready... so on that day, i started to work out more hahahaha just to justify what i thought.

       so later this girl knew that she and that guy were not meant for each other and realized that she fell in love with the other guy that liked her. she grab his hand just after he gave up and let her hands off. auww! sweet ending! so that bullshit had to find another girl kah! so ya my story was literally like this. but more complicated and sadness overload! hahaha well this story was about my friend. yes it really happened to her. but may i use "i" as her so that it could be simple for me to write. well imagine it was me. i was in her place okay... so it begins here.....

        few months ago, my life was literally miserable because of him. the one guy that i loved so much. so let me tell from the start where we met. 3 years ago, i met him on facebook. hahaha yes on facebook. he was single at that time but i thought he had a girlfriend because his facebook name was a girl name. hahahaha i thought he put his girlfriend's name. well that year, it was popular with such thing kan so no wonder lah kan. i was the one who started the first conversation. hahaha please do know that i was so naughty when i was young. i approach him by sending a ghost vid. well which is the one who scared others tuuuu.. it was about 12.30 a.m. and i sent it to him. i thought he didnt reply but yet, he replied with sort of cocky style saying tak takut and so. so we started our conversation later then, get to know each other and we did fought about islam! hhahaha he was like an angle. hahaha too kind you know. his face was so clean and nice-to-see. so it's a green light that he's single and so do i! we chatted everyyy dayyyy! and one day, he asked my number. i didnt give him.. it was hard for me to trust people in facebook. so i said "if you want my number, then you should guess what was my number.. for each number you can only guess three times and if you failed, then ask me another day"

      it shocked me as he guess it! he tried so hard and and got it in such.... CEPAT GILA! i was impressed.. that was the time my heart feels like... it pumping but getting bigger and burst! there's a cute worm dancing in my stomach! i felt so uneasy. i never felt this way after my first ex boyfriend. he made my day. day by day my love for him grows.. cehhh! after we being friend for about 3 month, we met in real! we went to watch movie, my first movie with him was a horror movie and i hate it but he being so romantic kahkah. he poked me, pinch my nose... you silly boy -,- we have our lunch together at mcd, he was so annoying and when i tried to face off him he tried to make me laugh by took the tray and knock it " knock knock* hello got someone there? Tia are you there? cakkkk?" and i smiled. i tried not to laugh but i failed. im laughing. he made my day. then, after few months knowing each other, he started confessed his feelings. then yeayy! out of 'friend zone' he loves me i loves him! he's my boyfriend now! im her gf now! that was 3 years ago lah kan, hahaha

      then we met at the beach.. he was checking my phone and i told him to hold it nicely but he purposely put it on the sands. i scream out lout! he laugh then he took my shoe and threw it away. i mad. i said i hate him and i stood up to pick it up with one still on. then he ran and pick it up before i did. he trying to be silly... i asked him to give me back but refused to. "well if you think you can take it from me then try" with his tongue out. he ran, i chased him till both of us felt tired and stop and it was the time i grab it from his hand and yes i won! when it was the time we were on call, he always made me smile by saying that i love himso much and i need him. i didnt say that. never. when i want to say something, he'd be like "ahh what? you love me? yes know you need me. no just stop it i know you love me. really? you love me? aww i love you too" it was annoying but somehow i still love him. i madly in love with him. we laughed we shared we spread our love. every time when we had a fight, he's the one who will back off and agreed that i was right. sometimes i felt bored as we rarely had a fight. he hate fighting. lol then one day, i tried to find something that leads us to have a fight and we fought. it was seriously bad. i never thought he took it serious until he said that he let me go and we should make our own way then.

       i cried. yes i cried because i never thought i'd lose him. i love him i need him there's nothing can make my heart blooms like he did to me. i love him and i just love him. but thank god, he finds me back, he said that it was a big mistake. well it was my mistake too so we gb. i was the one who put my ego as the priority in my life. i know that shows how selfish i am. i was so grateful to have him in my life. he took my ego as a challenge. he never questioned my behavior. i love you. as i put my ego first before him, i said to myself that that was the 1st and last chance i gave to him. if he let my hands off, i'll never grab him back until he prove me that i was wrong. so one day we fought. we fought over something that's so silly you know. a small matter but became big bigger and biggesttttt. yes we broke up. we were on call he cried saying that he regret for letting me go. he wants me back. i cried too. and i felt the same way. but my ego was sooo big you know. so i said no to him. i know i shouldnt be that mean. but i dont want to get hurt for so many times. so i decided to say no. we cried. and ended our conversation. his bestfriends were all seeking me and asking me to get back with him as he was like a mad guy in school. but i refused to listen. he said he will wait for me. so i asked him to wait me for a year. only for a year. i thought he'd wait me. but no. i was wrong. 1.1.2012 we still did contact each other. and on new year's eve, he asked me if i want to get back or not.i asked him to wait for a year. well he said he'd wait. so after a week i decided to put aside my ego and just get back with him. but before i give him the answer i stalked his twitter.

        it breaks my heart when i saw he had mentioned with another girl. and they seems to be so close. like they were dating. what a heartbroken... i cried. he lied. he said he loves me. he would wait for me. but no. he didnt do that. only words came out from his mouth. not from his insides. so i decided to make a move. i moved on so do him. we lost contact. we were strangers. we went back from the start pretending that we never ever did know each other. few months later, i went out alone. i still alone. he locked my heart. so i thought maybe it will hang there for only months so i ignored my feelings. i went out with my brother actually but he went to shopping so i said i'd like to walk alone. sadly i bumped into him and the girl besides him, that one girl. the girl who mentioned him on twitter back then. i saw both of them. my heart pumped fast. we were too close like yaaa i was in front of him. he looked at me, i looked at him then i looked at that girl. she stared at me with the annoying face. i ignored. i tried to pretend like i didnt saw him. i walked straightly and yes. it broke my heart into pieces. it seems like he's happy without me. like i was the only one who still hoping that he'd turned back and hold me back. lol it was just a dream. it really hurt me. i walked straigtly to the washroom. i cried. i cried because i cant face him. i cant. my heart... it hurts me... it hurts me a lot. and yes, i cried again because of him. because i still love him. but as there's a saying goes "if you love someone, doesnt mean that you should be with him. sometimes you can only pray for his happiness" yes i asked Allah to help me with my feelings matter from you if we're not meant to each other. because i cant face it anymore. seeing you with other girl make me hurt. i hate myself for keep waiting and loving you. i was so silly.

2 years later,

       i went out to watch movie with my best friends on november 2013. we had so much fun until we went to the food court to have our brunch and...............

TO BE CONTINUED....
    

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