i got a notification from my girlfriends on wechat."girls, see ya at ecm at 1.30 pm! dont be late because the movie starts on 1.45!" we formed a group in wechat named, "the februarians". we named it februarians because all of us were born on february. kaimira, one of us and my best friend, we've being friend since we were in standard one and being in secondary school was fun as we keep being together, get to stay in the same class,until she got to move and we had to say goodbye. but our friendship doesnt end on that day, we were still keep in touch each other and when ever we're free, we will hang out together and have fun! being with my bestfriend is the best thing ever. oh ya being with my bestfriends. hahahaha i love both of them. kaimira and kaisara. they were there when i need shoulders to lay on. they never failed to make me smile when ever i felt sad. they never failed to annoy me with things. kaimira, who love and madly in love with her scandal.. kaisara with her kpop things. ughhh please. hahaha but yet, i still love them. but i dont get it why you kaimira.. why dont you just get into a serious relationship with your scandal rather than being a scandal? i dont understand..... but yet kaisara... you're the worst babe you annoyed me but i love you! you know what, i've know this 2 girl since i was in primary school and both we met in standard 1 and yes got to stay in the same class until we went to standard 4 and i left the class. but we met again in standard 5,6 and yeayyy got the chance to stay in the same class. so do when we're in form 2,3,4,5... yes we were meant together right? hahaha
enough with the flashback, i smiled and replied "omg guys! i cant wait! it has been a longggg longgg time we havent met...... *typing... and kaisara replied "what? you just saw me yesterday at school lahh" and" youu silly girl i knowww!!! i mean kaimira. it has been so long we havent met her and today is the day you moron!" hahahaha i always get annoyed with kaisara but yet she's the one who make me smile! i love youuuu.i continued "well i wish that some sort of miracle will happen to me today! or.... at least we can see hot guys roaming around the ecm and and and we can flirt! hahahahahahaha" CRAZY. yes i was that sounds crazy. but in real, to be honest, i dont flirt. because i'm that type of girl who keep her words. back then, 2 years ago when i was in a relationship with him. yes the one that made my day... i made a promise to myself that i wont look at other guys. i love him. i just love him so much that where ever i go, i just want him to walk with me. sit besides me, listen to my story. and smile, and ask me to keep telling him stories. i just miss those moments... i didnt show my shyness... cause im too me when i was with him. never felt awkward. never. i miss him. yes i miss him. i promised myself that i wont find another guy even though if we were not meant to each other until my spm ends. even though my bestfriends asked me to find another guy or just forget about him.. i did.. mannnnn i did! but you know what? when ever i wanted to be out of 'friend zone' with someone, yes half a way, but failed. i'm the one who ruined it. i ruined it because i realized that i dont love him. i liked him but i cant love him. my heart.... my heart feels empty. i dont know why... and i dont want to know.....
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we went to watch movie and shopping! we're just finished our final exam actually so yaaa it's time to partyyy!!! we flirt.. not me but both of them. hahaha they were too naughty and i cant stop it cause their weird and-so-crazy act make me love them! so after we made so many rounds in the mall, that was just the only time we felt hungry. we're starving, craving for foods! we had an argument about choosing the place. hahaha and we decided to go to the food court. we chose the place where it was literally hidden from people. we sat there! kaimira went order for drinks while kaisara and me? SELFIE! hahaha sorry kaimira we left you. so after we got our drinks yes we were chatting, gossiping and laughing. as laughing is the best medicine ever, i purposely laughed out loud until this one guy stop and look at us. well i didnt see him but my friend did. kaisara "hoii he look at you lah wehh stop laughing like pontianak lah sengal" i stopped and looked at him. damn he was sooo handsome until i blushed. ughhh i cursed insides. he looked at me and laugh auwww that was soooo -make-me-melt! and he continued his move and i laughed back. hahaha while laughing, i keep my eyes on and yaaa like the spy, pretend to laugh but were spying on something. yes my eyes were like that spy eyes. hahaha keep watching people keep seeing things around until it stopped me. my eyes... my eyes were like... like it had been glued and just focusing on one thing.
after 2 years... after 2 years i havent met him yes my ex boyfriend. my best ex boyfriend. he was standing behind the wall where he was like hmm how to say ah. like he was hiding but i saw him. he didnt see me. he was talking to his friend. they were like discussing on foods.. maybe what to order? my heart... i havent felt this way after 2 years. yes it pumped faster than before... i could feel the butterflies in my stomach. this was what i felt when i fell for him 2 years ago and it happened again on that day. i dont know why but my eyes.. my eyes keep watching him. i watched him until he ended his conversation with his friend and walk out of the food court. and my friend poked me asking me what happened and i told them i saw him and they didnt believe that. they said that i was dreaming. wtf man i felt like to cry tau. his face, never changed.. still handsome but more handsome i guess hahaha. he was in dark blue shirt and i was on horse-white shirt. then we back to our conversation and laugh, laugh,laughing our ass off. lol then suddenly my eyes stopped and stick to him again. he's back! from far, i saw him. he walked straightly to order at the claypot sides. i pointed him to my friends and yes i proved them wrong. then, i told them i wanted to make something crazy by walking in front of him. they seems like they dont like it. they warned me not to do that. but i bravely made a deal with them "guys, if he saw me when i walk in front of him, i bet he'll stalk me on twitter after back from this mall. he'll stalk my twitter and fav my tweets or sth" they laughed. they said he wont do that so we made a deal. where if it's true that he'll stalked me then they'll pay my topup.
so i asked kaisara to accompany me and he sat on the place where if i sit at my place, i could see his face straightly to me. he sat besides the claypot side and i... yes that was the time i act like i dont see him and like choosing places with my friend which we would prefer to order. i stopped in front of him facing the claypot side pretending that we want to order i could see him from the right side that he was staring at me and i instantly canceled and walked in front of him. yes i faced him just like i saw no one. pretend that i dont know him. he faced me. he saw me. he looked at me. my heart said that. i felt like i want to SHOUT! SCREAM OUT LOUD! i miss him. i want to hug him. i want to sit besides him. i want to talk to him. suddenly i ... i miss him so badly. my eyes... it seems like in just a second someone could swim in it. i wanted to cry but my friend stopped me from being weak! she said "stop tia! stop it! it has been 2 years. just stop it! dont you get it he's happy without you. just stop and dont cry because of him. it's useless! i thought you've moved on. you lied to me tia. how could you! if i know this would happen i wont let you to walk just like that! you moron! you hurt yourself!" she slapped me with her words. i.. i cant say anything. im speechless... my heart... it made me confused.
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back from ecm, i put my handbag at where it should be put and try on new clothes that i just bought. i took a picture of me standing in front of the mirror smiling.... and it was senyum hambar you know. he suddenly appeared on my mind. suddenly it brings the 2 years memories and yes i forgot to do one thing that i need to check on my twitter! i must win for my bet to get a free topup from them! hahaha then i ran to my bedroom and grab my laptop bag. i make another move as i switched on my laptop and quickly log into my twitter. yes got notifications. the RT's from people.. scrolled it up.. scrolled it and yes! a notification from him! he favorite one of my old tweets. he stalked me! as i excpected he stalked me! i ignored him. aaaaa feel like to scream!!!! then quickly took a picture of it and send it to the februarians on wechat. they shouted using voice chat! hahahaha yeayyy i won!! i got topup from them a day later! yeayy hahaha but yes i miss him. i miss him so much. i did stalked him too. i saw his tweets, his pictures. then i went back to the twitter home. i cant.... i asked myself to stop before my feeling grows back.
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27.11.2013,
i watched an online movie on internet. it was a japan movie, "i give my first love to you" the hero was sooooooo handsome! i can bet that if you watch it you'd be omg! want to watch it for many times! but one thing that make me wonder is.. the hero's face. look like someone i know. but who? i think too much i put my effort so much on guessing who was it? suddenly i remembered.. it reminds me of him! i was... i dont know how to say and yes this time i'd like to have a conversation with him. i quickly log in to my twitter and go to his profile..... i mentioned him and type " hey see! check this out!" i wanted to click send but i stopped... my heartbeat.. i could feel it. it beat so fast. i was thinking whether i should click the send button or leave it and..........
TO BE CONTINUED....
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